It's Almost Christmas!

I love this time of year. People truly show their good side. More smiles and more happy chatter, big and small secrets and more families doing things together. I LOVE IT!! Here I am with one of my Christmas treasures; grandboy, Will. It does NOT get any better than this! Loving on one of my sweet grandboys. To all my family and friends MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOD BLESS! Be good to one another and live life to the fullest. Love, Nana

I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO BLOG!!!

Oh when, oh when will I be enjoying cherished moments like this again? This is when I am experiencing heaven on earth! I feel the same about you Will but, just could not find a good picture of us together....I will dedicate a whole blog to you sweet boy very soon! Hope the holidays are going well for everyone. I'm having my best in a couple of years. More later. Love ya'll. Nana

THANKSGIVING....IT IS A'COMIN!

As promised....I am sharing some other adorable pictures of those awesome salt and pepper shakers...I know you all have been waiting....Happy Thanksgiving and be kind to one another. I actually had to borrow the pig shakers from daughter "M's" pig collection. She collects them. Happy Holidays to all those I love and even to those I don't. Love as always from Nana {: )

Fault Finding

You know the expression that if you look up a word in the dictionary that you would see so and so's picture next to the definition. Well, here is my version! ( I have cropped the photo to protect the identity of the known "blame shifter"!




Blame shifter: (definition) Uses accusatory manner or actually states to anyone they can find, that their (accuser) forgetfulness, lack of planning, mistake or screwup is someone elses fault; i.e., missing the garbage men by not putting out the garbage the night before, not returning a phone message because "someone" did not remind them, almost being late to work because same said person turned the alarm clock off days ago, etc., etc., etc. Example: "Thanks for checking to see that I got up for work; it's 9:30 a.m.!!!"(This person has to be 30 minutes away by 10:00 a.m. and I should have technically been gone by 8:30 a.m. and would not have been here to check on him anyway, but decided to stay home!) Ciao!

Best Friends

My beautiful son "R" is the man on the left and his best friend since first grade, Jason is on the right. This picture was taken on December 22, 2002 at my daughter "J's" wedding. Our dear and beloved friend Jason was lost to this world on Tuesday, November 15, 2005 in a terrible tragedy we will never fully understand. He has been our "other" son and brother for so many years. Jason is woven into every member of this family's memories. Somehow without realizing it, he became a part of all the changes in our family; moves, graduations, weddings, and new babies just to name some. Many of our family gatherings at holidays were blessed with a visit by Jason. He always brightened the place and brought comfort with his visits. He "blended" in seamlessly with the Ashley's and that is not an easy thing to do! His passing has left a HUGE hole and no one else will fill it the way he did. He was bright, loving, funny, ambitious and just an all around outstanding human being. He will be sorely missed and never, ever forgotten.

Jason Bassett 1/10/84 - 11/15/2005

Such a terrible, terrible loss! Rest easy good friend and we will see you on the other side.

I'm Totally Blogging This!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING GOOD SOULS!!! Even though some of us are entering this holiday with heavy hearts; we must remember all that we have to be thankful for. Things I'm thankful for: my marriage is sound and my husband and I are truly good friends. I am unbelievably blessed with family(daughters, son, sons-in-law, awesome grandchildren!!! : ) and some close friends. I have a job I value and that brings me as much pleasure as a paycheck. In the true spirit of the holiday I must dedicate this particular blog to my beloved daughter "M". Please, please "M", no more unfair and cruel shots at the Pilgrim family we all have grown to love from the Publix commercials. : ) Here is a picture of the Lil'grims....the beloved children of the original Pilgrim salt and pepper shakers. I will be sharing some other heartwarming photos as we draw nearer this special holiday. Enjoy! Ciao!! Mom aka Nana

Thinking of Dad :)

This is my Dad holding my first grandson and his great-grandson Gus. It is an amazing picture for me to have. Dad LOVED babies and they loved him. It helps to see this picture and know he always held me that way when I was a baby. He was very affectionate to me as an adult. We kissed goodnight and he would always hug me if I was upset. He could always tease me into a better mood. I LOVED HIM! I LOVE HIM!

A friend of my daughter M had this written on her blog about the loss of her father. It is so eloquent and TOTALLY captures exactly how I felt as my father slipped away and then was gone.......

"Daddy, no man is ever going to love me like you love me. No man is ever going to take your place in my heart" and put my arms around his frail shoulders trying not to break him, trying not to think of how these arms used to hold up my world when I was a child.

I had the same relationship with my Dad and he made me feel totally good about myself, loved unconditionally and somewhat adored. Everyone should have someone who makes them feel like that. I try hard to make my kids feel this way. I love you Dad and still grieve terribly for you. Love, Me

UNLEASH YOUR CREATIVE SIDE!

Because I could NOT sleep last night for love nor money....I composed this post in my head and am now translating it into the written word so you all can read it! : ) Every one of us, and I DO mean every ONE of us, has a creative bent. Even if you deny it, you would be wrong. Now, I think most people consider creativity as having to be something artistic like painting, sculpting, writing, singing, dancing and acting. Or, maybe they think you have to be "crafty". While these are all elements of creativity, it is far from all of them. I truly believe that creativity can be expressed in countless and imaginative ways. If you are someone who loves to cook and takes great pains in finding just the right ingredients. Maybe you never, EVER go completely by the recipe! You are expressing a creative side of yourself! Gardening can be a relaxing outlet of creativity. The way you group plants and flowers together, the way you prune the shrubs; all of these take your perspective and creativity. Scrapbook truly shows off a person's creativity. Looking at someone's scrapbook of their child, a trip, wedding, etc., is always unique and touching. Photography is definitely creative. The picture above of my oldest grandson Gus, is an example of his Mom exercising her creative side with her camera! Sewing, quilting, knitting, crocheting, dressmaking, upholstering even altering clothes, definitely qualifies. Refinishing furniture, woodworking, decorating a house or office also belongs on the list. There are people who can tell or read a story like no one's business. Guess what? That is a creative outlet. Some people are truly imaginative and gifted teachers who can make history or math or religion come alive. I could go on and on but I hope you get the point. By unleashing your creative side you allow yourself to find things out about yourself that are good, interesting and fun. It brings you a confidence that does not come from anything else. Do not worry about your early efforts or if you do not like something you try. Just keep going! So go ahead, go on....stop being so busy and do something totally frivolous and creative. You will be so glad you found something that is yours and yours alone. No matter what it is, everything you create will be unique. Even if it is copied it can never be the "original". Happy creating!!!

With love and encouragement,
Nanabanana

As Requested

5 Things

A meme--if you see your name at the bottom of the list, share the love (copy and paste onto your blog and tag some people your ownself)!

5 Things I Plan to Do Before I Die:

Go to Europe
Sell something I made in woodworking
Make a difference in my community by volunteering
Have an awesome wild garden on some acreage
Spend a week at the beach in a BIG house with my family all around


5 Things I Can Do:

mother
forgive
sew
sing
dance

5 Things I Can't Do:

knit (tried it .....hated it!)
get my brother to speak to me
make my husband quit bossing me around
make pie crust from scratch
watch gory movies

5 Things that Attract Me to the Opposite Sex:

sense of humor
great butt
nice muscular arms
lots of hair
kindness

5 Things I Say Most Often:

Jeez "o" Pete
"Yer killin' me, Smalls"
Hi Hooooney
Is this thee party to whom I wish to speak?
I love you

5 Movies I Can Watch Over and Over:

Overboard
The Quiet Man
McClintock
Ace Ventura Pet Detective
Uncle Buck

5 Movies I Plan to See:

Mystic River
March of the Penguins
Elizabethtown
Ten Commandments
Million Dollar Baby


5 Celebrity Crushes:

John Wayne
Orlando Bloom
Toby McGuire
Hugh Grant
Matthew McConahey (sp?)

5 Books I Want to Read Soon:

War and Peace
Jane Eyre
Little House on the Prarie
The book about women who served in the Civil War (don't know name)
The Bible


5 People I Want to Do This:
Airborne Momma
Lavenderose
MamaDaisy
McGeezle - I DON'T GO BY THAT!!!!!
The Old Salt

Why I Love and Admire R.

This is my onliest son (with his special girl Jen). His father has another son but I have only 1. He is awesome and knows me better than I care for. He's very intuitive which grips my a-- sometimes! He's brilliant when it comes to brains but not a person to lord that over people for the most part. He's very, very funny and a very loving son. My favorite thing he does is "doctor" greeting cards to say just exactly what he wants them to say. It always warms my heart and makes my eyes well up with tears. He does not have as much self confidence as I would like but I feel certain that will come with time. He is somewhat forgetful but it's because his mind is always working a mile a minute. When he was a little guy he was my best buddy while his sisters attended school. He was always so cooperative about running around with Mom. Of course now, he HATES to shop....sorry Jen I ruined him. I love to "browse". He knows how to work anything and is very electronic savvy but hates to help his parents in that department. His Mom needs him to come home and set up the router bits for her. (Just kidding, but no really!) He is an avid reader of science fiction or fantasy stuff, I'm not exactly sure. He is not afraid to hug or kiss his Mom in public and never has been. He wrote an awesome play that still gives me pause. He could act and he definitely got that from me. Both of his sisters love him dearly but he is still a little wounded from being brutalized as a young guy. Someday he'll let go of that as well. My wish for R is that he do whatever it is that makes him happy and allows him to stand on his own. He is very responsible and the best with his money of all my kids. I'm so very proud of him and miss him terribly (come home soon R). He is going to graduate from UF next year and he has done an awesome job of being a student and keeping a full-time job. I love you R more than you know. Love, Mom

God I love these boys!

Don't Know How to Say Good-bye

William Edward Openshaw - 2/6/29 - 7/30/03. This is a picture of my Dad, helping me and J. work on woodworking projects Father's Day weekend 2003. He was always in the thick of things and loved to "help" me with my undertakings. My father died two weeks after a bad fall on July 30, 2003. It was also the day we closed on a brand new house we all were going to live in so Dad would not be alone all the time. He was 73 years old and very strong and active. It was a stunning shock that everything could be over in 14 days. Even though he was in the hospital being treated for broken ribs and a vertebrae, the doctors missed seeing something wrong internally and he died from a massive "gut" infection. Ah well, so much for modern medicine and all those freaking machines they have to look us over with. They were all so sorry for me. As long as I can remember I was always crazy about my Dad. He made me feel special....I knew he loved me unconditionally. He liked everything about me and did not make fun of me. He was my biggest fan and always handled my emotional outbreaks gently and kindly. Even when I was very young, my Mom said Dad and I had a strong and fast bond. I was his shadow....I was unafraid if he was leading. He was a wonderful father to me, his first born and oldest daughter. Sadly, he was an awful father to my brother. He was abusive and made my brother feel like a loser. My brother was definitely a problem child but even at a young age I knew beating him was NOT the answer. My father died being estranged from my brother. My brother is estranged from me and our sister. Our mother died in 2000 and her last request was that my Dad keep the family together. He failed miserably at this task. We were a dysfunctional family at best, but I did not know that until my grown up years. These past several months I have been torn. I have a a deep love for my father and our ability to love and communicate with each other. I am extremely troubled by the wreckage of my brother by both my father and mother. I grieve terribly for my brother, my heart is broken for him. He wants nothing to do with me and this is so sad to me. I think he must suffer on some level because of our fractured family unit. He does not claim any of us. He has distanced himself and uses his alcohol and pot to keep himself numb. Of course, he does not think that is why he drinks and smokes, he thinks he is partying. I struggle with the loss of my father, my friend, (the only one who could unbreak my heart) and yet feel such anger at how things ended up. I wanted to fix their relationship but the f-----g fall came out of nowhere and he died. Neither of us knew he had so little time. My problem now is; I cannot figure out how to put this horrific and shocking loss somewhere in my life that makes it not so emotionally crippling. I don't know how to justify loving a man who was a monster at times to my brother. The other thing that most surprises me about my severe sadness at Dad being gone, is that I knew that parents are supposed to die before their children. That does NOT help ease the pain. In my 5 decades of life I have had little experience with death. My Mom died in 2000 but she and I were a tad estranged in our own way. I had a hard time for a year, made several good changes to my life, forgave her, forgave me and went on. Dad's death has taken all the wind out of my sails. I miss him terribly and wish I could have done more to let him know what he meant to me. I wish I could have repaired the leftovers of our family. I'm the oldest, he always told me "I was in charge". I feel like I failed here. I'm working on forgiveness for me and for him. I pray for my brother's black heart to be lightened and that he will find peace with his "bad" childhood. I love him even if he will never speak to me or see me again. I only want the best for him.
Death sucks and I guess I just have to trust that time will make things less raw and devastating. Huh! I guess we'll see.....After all it HAS only been 2 years. Not looking for sympathy, really... just had to vent!

Why I Love and Admire M.

M. is also my daughter. She is an artist, wife and mother of a toddler and an infant. She probably would not list herself first as an artist but I sure would. She has always had an artistic bent and I like to think she got it from my mother. My mother was very talented both musically and artistically and I admired that about her. M. is a devoted mother and in some ways that surprises me. See, she is unlike me in practically all ways (or so I thought) and I just didn't think she would enjoy motherhood the way I did. But she does!! She is fabulous at it and most of the time really, really likes it. She totally appreciates her boys for who they are and wants to nurture their individual spirits. M. never followed the path most likely, she made her own way. I admired her immensely for her ability to go her own way and never care what others thought of it. She is a much better wife than I am and that's cool too. She is very, very smart and talented and beautiful and I am so proud of her. She is the child that is still "unfolding" before me and I delight in watching her become her own woman. She would totally have been a beatnik if born in the right time and she probably IS a hippie. I like that about her. M. was in the Army and she did some pretty neat stuff. The one thing that stands out for me though is when she had to repel off a tall tower. For me, that would be a new experience, but I would not have had any real qualms about doing it. M. is afraid of heights and she went up there and did it probably sure she was going to die! That is real courage. To do something you are afraid of truly takes some backbone. She is a wonderful young woman and I am very proud of her and her family. She, just like J., brings me unending joy and makes me one proud mama!!! Love you sweetie, Mom

WHY I LOVE AND ADMIRE J.

I decided to start my own blog to write a little about some of the people in my life who have "made all the difference". My first attempt will be about my daughter J.

J. is in the Army. She is a wife and the mother of a toddler. She is in "jump" school learning how to parachute from planes and stuff. She has no idea how brave and courageous she is, as she just spends her days doing her very best, giving out encouragement to the people around her and missing her husband and child like mad.

J. would tell you she has not had it that easy in some areas of her life. I think that has caused her to be such a risk taker and fearless competitor. She decides if she can do something only after she has given her all trying it. She wishes things came easier to her but you get lazy when you don't have to work for things. She is NOT lazy. She rarely complains even though her heart aches for her family and she would never "quit" anything, no matter how much you try to make her!

She has a very generous spirit and always has. I witnessed her at 3 years old offering to share her chocolate chip cookie with her brother and sister. She did not get this trait from her mother! I would have sneaked into a corner and tried to devour the whole thing hoping not to be discovered! Her generosity still continues to this day, if you would like to have it she will give it to you if she can. She has a strong sense of fairness and fair play. She is very honest and demands the same from those around her. She is humble and does not really know the tremendous impact she has on those around her. She is a very loyal friend and unfortunately has yet to make many friends who deserve her friendship.

Children have always been drawn to her and she adores not only her child but her nephews and nieces. They all love her too! I'm very, very proud of her and pray daily that she gets the things she most desires in this life. You go girl! Mom is "praying you through" I and know you will make it!

Love, Mom